I've been thinking so much about life's disgusting, rude, and inappropriate questions. I think it is important that I share these thoughts with you.
1) How is poop so large? How does it fit in your intestines? I know the experts say that if you uncoiled your large and small intestines they could stretch 30 yards or something like that, but wow. All that in such a small area. Poop is weird, you know? Do you ever feel like, after you poop, you get this incredible relief from the inside? Maybe it's just me. I love to poop. I feel the same way about farts.
1a) Why do you poop okra seeds? How about corn? It's like your turds have polka dots.
Ok...enough poop talk.
2) Why do girls think it is ok to wear leggings as pants? Leggings are not pants...they are leggings. If I can see the cellulite through your tights (because that's essentially what they are...thick tights), you need to cover up. A long shirt, a dress, shorts, whatever it takes. Pants are pants. Leggings are leggings. Wear them as they were meant to be worn.
3) Ever eat cheese that had mold on it that you scraped off so you could save the cheese?
4) Let's go back to farts. I think that men who don't think women fart are idiots. Seriously? Women don't fart? Oh, I suppose they don't breathe or drink water either. Everyone farts!
5) Why do people think it is necessary to have a riding lawn mower to cut a patch of grass that could fit inside of a hot tub?
6) Am I the only one who thinks it is rude to talk on your totally stupid, blue tooth headset while at the doctor's office, grocery store, post office, or other public place? I don't care about your friend, Shirley, or how long it took you to pick out the kind of pizza you wanted for dinner, or gaaaaawd, the kind of tampons your wife asked you to buy.
7) On television, why are most cops, detectives, etc. all super duper fit and super duper good looking? That's not life. Most cops, at least the ones I know (with the exception of a very few) are overweight, average looking, and couldn't stand in front of a fan to blow their hair all around if they wanted to...
8) I think it is amazing that a woman can pee all over a toilet seat. We don't have the ability to aim, yet they manage to get loads of dribbles on the toilet seat. Would it kill these chicks to wipe the seat off? It IS their urine, after all.
Are you grossed out by these things? I clearly am not. It is important that we discuss these things in depth, or else we will be subjected to a solitary search of the internet (where looking for something like "rash on elbow" instantly indicates scabies, skin cancer, or an infected llama bite <<but I wasn't even in CONTACT with a llama!!>>).
Do you have ay disgusting questions you often wonder about or would appreciate an answer to eventually? Let's talk about them!
No comments:
Post a Comment