This saying is usually followed up with something simple like, "then don't say anything at all" or something more snappy like, "then you're in good company". Today, I might need to have my vocal cords severed; I'm being downright mean.
Have you even wanted to punch a co-worker in the throat? Imagined how great it would be if you told other co-workers to shut the <<bleep>> up because the sound of their voice was making you want to get run over by a bus? Wanted to tell the woman talking to you a little too closely that her smelly breath was about to kill you? Fought the urge to pick up a screaming, bratty kid and drop them off the second floor balcony at the mall? Wished you approached the gross young couple groping each other in the park and smacked their heads together so they'd get bloody noses and stop licking each other's faces? Thought about how awesome it would be to trip someone who made you mad and enjoy the 2 seconds of fear on their faces as they fell to the ground? Dreamed about saying 'no' when your boss asked you to do something you deemed stupid or a waste of time and then told them to leave your office because you were really busy playing online games? Contemplated popping the tire of the jerk who cut you off at the gas station, pulling in the wrong way so he had to pull the hose aaaaaaall the way over the top of his car?
No? Hmm. Maybe it IS just me.
Hence, today, I will sit in my office and keep quiet. I am bound to say something I'll regret (or the way I say something will undoubtedly come out wrong) and I will feel bad for the rest of the day. I am hateful on the inside, but I also have a heck of a conscious. Oh, and I am Catholic, so I carry EXTRA guilt around with me 24/7.
In other, less hateful, news, I started doing Weight Watchers. I was asked when I was going to have my baby (payback perhaps for the beach-bashing???) and when I announced I was NOT pregnant, the question was immediately rebutted with, "how many weeks postpartum" I was...EEK. Not good. So, thanks to my awesome BFF, I am on my way to losing some weight. I've got a 20 pound weight loss goal before Christmas. I think I can do it. I hope I can do it. I can't start punching pregnant people who ask me "when I'm due". Therefore, I need to work my tail off.
Last night, I tried a recipe for "healthy cookies" which I really thought was going to be the most disgusting concoction known to (wo)man. They were DELICIOUS!!! This recipe was on a card that I got from my wedding (7 years ago) and I FINALLY decided to make them.
They are easy:
--2 ripe, mashed bananas
--1 cup of oats (quick cook or rolled)
--a handful (or half a bag, whatever) of chocolate chips, raisins, nuts, etc.
Mash bananas in a bowl, stir in oats and add "extras".
Bake at 350 for 15 minutes.
They look like this:
I was pleasantly surprised (so surprised that I ate 6 cookies...this was NOT a surprise). Even Randy liked them.
Time for coffee, more "healthy cookies" and more coffee. Let's hope I am feeling a little less snarky tomorrow.
Nah, that wouldn't be any fun.
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