No, it actually happened in Greenville; I'm sure no one cares. I did not cringe yesterday when I had my coffee with just cream. Seriously. I drank it ALL and didn't make the face you'd make after you swallow vomit burps (not even once). I don't want to jinx myself, but I feel good and I am pretty sure my taste buds are changing for the better.
The "sweet" part of my diet has consisted of fruit...fruit...and, yes, fruit. Sometimes, I get bored with my dates and grapes sometimes, so I will do this:
Yeah, making smiley faces out of fruit while I should be working seems about right. But I digress. All of this fiber is making my bowels more regular than usual (I could care less if this is information about me you didn't want to know) and I never have to worry about my sweet snack being wrapped up in the goodness/harmfulness of gluten.
I can share that sad times have come between my scale and me: I haven't lost any more weight. Honestly, I wasn't going forward with this 40-days of no sugar shit for weight loss, but I was sad to see the number hadn't moved in a week.
There is some good (and impressive) news though: I'm pleased to report that I have not slipped up at all...not even once. I take desserts home and freeze them, I've been saying "no" to cookies (which is SOOOOOO hard), and I have even gone as far as to bring something sweet with me when I travel for work so I am not tempted while I aimlessly drive around the country. Do you want to pat me on the back yet? No? Well, I'm sorry...but that's all I've got for now.
Soon, I will face the greatest challenge of Lent to date. In a week, my office is hosting a wonderful dinner for some counseling friends from around the country. I arranged the menu. The dinner is going to be delicious and semi-healthy (as healthy as you can get from campus catering services). Then there's the desserts: fully loaded cheesecake bar AND a self-serve coffee station, complete with 10 different flavored syrups, rock sugar sticks, flavored creams, and whipped cream. Holy shit...I am going to be in serious trouble!!! I'm planning on taking some of the cheesecake home in Tupperware containers (umm, yes, I am TOTALLY that person. Face it, they will only throw it out anyway so I may as well take it home and eat the crap out of it on Easter Sunday). The coffee? Ugh. I don't know! THIS. BLOWS.
Well, one of 2 things will happen after Lent is over: I will either 1) taste sugar again and say, "EEWWW! Sugar is gross!" and vow to eat it only in very limited quantities or 2) taste sugar again, remember how delicious it is, shut myself in my house for 30 years consuming every sugary morsel I can get my grubby little hands on, look in the mirror one day, realize I have turned into the mama on "What's Eating Gilbert Grape", go into a diabetic sugar coma, and die knowing full well that Randy had to burn down our house (with me inside of it) because I was too chubby for him to get me out.
How have your Lenten promises been going? Is your quarter jar full yet? That is why I didn't give up swearing again this year. Last year I did, and I was broke 2 weeks in!
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Lenten woes
You know, I still semi want to kill myself. This no sugar business was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be! The bad news? I'm still really mean (a change from the norm, you ask? No, not really). I seem to have replaced my sugar cravings for salt and my blood pressure is going up some. I have wicked horrible gas (could be from other things, but I am blaming it on my body undergoing detox). The positive news? I lost 4.2 pounds (now I'm a whopping 156.8). Might have been more (I KNEW I should have pooped before jumping on that scale this morning) but I will take what I can get at this point. I actually do feel a little healthier. My headaches have, for the most part, subsided; I am sleeping a little better. I am not craving Hershey kisses or Dove squares, or Pixie Sticks. Oh, GAWD, that's such a lie. All I can think about is sugar, and how amazing it would be to rub my face in some frosting, or devour a heaping spoonful of raspberry jam, or roll around in some pancake syrup and spend the rest of the afternoon licking myself clean like a cat. <<sigh>> I love a good "top 10" list, so here goes:

Top 10 sugary foods I miss most:
literally in order of importance to me
1. Dunkin Donuts french vanilla decaf: light and sweet (and thanks for rubbing it in about the sugar...the giant NO is awesome)
2. Jam/ Preserves (a scoop in some plain Greek yogurt: YUM!)
3. Hard candy: Lifesavers, Peppermints, etc.
4. KozyShack rice pudding (shout out to my dad...this is our favorite snack!)
5. Bolthouse Farm protein shakes
6. Grandma Spez's cheesecake tarts (God bless that little lady...92 years old and still baking for us)
7. Sugar cubes (don't judge)
8. Udi's gluten-free chocolate chip cookies
9. Cocoa Pebbles (really, don't judge)
10. Pancake syrup (the shitty stuff)
Perhaps after Lent is over, I will continue to stay away from the white stuff. As it stands right now, I would consider selling my soul to the Devil for one of my coffee creations (which I guess is the purpose of Lent...not the selling your soul part, but the temptation part). Can I live without my light and sweet coffee at Dunkin Donuts? Yeah, probably. Will I live without it? Mmmmm, probably not.
I will be back next week to share my updates. Until then, I will continue to eat more fruit and crap my guts out. Have fun with the now burned-into-your-mind image of me covered in syrup, licking myself clean. Hope that gross thought stays with you all week!

Top 10 sugary foods I miss most:
literally in order of importance to me
1. Dunkin Donuts french vanilla decaf: light and sweet (and thanks for rubbing it in about the sugar...the giant NO is awesome)
2. Jam/ Preserves (a scoop in some plain Greek yogurt: YUM!)
3. Hard candy: Lifesavers, Peppermints, etc.
4. KozyShack rice pudding (shout out to my dad...this is our favorite snack!)
5. Bolthouse Farm protein shakes
6. Grandma Spez's cheesecake tarts (God bless that little lady...92 years old and still baking for us)
7. Sugar cubes (don't judge)
8. Udi's gluten-free chocolate chip cookies
9. Cocoa Pebbles (really, don't judge)
10. Pancake syrup (the shitty stuff)
Perhaps after Lent is over, I will continue to stay away from the white stuff. As it stands right now, I would consider selling my soul to the Devil for one of my coffee creations (which I guess is the purpose of Lent...not the selling your soul part, but the temptation part). Can I live without my light and sweet coffee at Dunkin Donuts? Yeah, probably. Will I live without it? Mmmmm, probably not.
I will be back next week to share my updates. Until then, I will continue to eat more fruit and crap my guts out. Have fun with the now burned-into-your-mind image of me covered in syrup, licking myself clean. Hope that gross thought stays with you all week!
Thursday, March 6, 2014
No sugar tonight in my coffee...
...no sugar tonight in my tea (or anything else for that matter). Lent is upon us. As Catholics, we are supposed to give up something that is a vice (just for 40 days...not forever, though I believe it should ultimately turn into "forever"). Typically, I try to give up swearing but let's be real: I fail within 40 minutes every year after I step in dog crap, or I lock myself out of the house, or I burn my ear on the curling iron. I recently read an article that suggests sugar is more addicting than heroin. While I've never tried that drug, I am no stranger to the sweet, delicious taste of sugar. Here's the article link if you'd like to read it, too. This is why I've decided to give up refined sugar for Lent. My commitment to myself is to not cheat for 40 days. I believe I have bitten off more than I can chew.

Yesterday was the first day of no sugar. I sadly drove by Dunkin Donuts on my way to work and really missed drinking my large french vanilla (light and sweet, of course). The plain hot tea from home just wasn't cutting it. I had no brown sugar in my oatmeal, I avoided eating the tasty Milky Way bars that are in my desk drawer, and I even turned down a gluten free cookie at my friend's house (I know...big deal).
So, what is my point? Well, I'm starting these 40 dark days at 161 pounds and in decent health, but with terrible eating habits. I'm hoping that, by eliminating "the white stuff" from my diet, I will lose some weight, kill some of my addictive, sugar-monster behavior, and realize that I don't need to consume 4-5 CUPS of sugar every day (seriously, this is according to my doctor...how the hell am I not diabetic yet????). I'm still allowing myself fruit because I'll need something sweet to go in my belly. And because the sugar in fruit is natural. And because I would most likely strangle someone if I went 100% sugar free. I plan to weigh myself once a week on Wednesdays so I can document my progress.
How am I feeling? Great question. This morning, I semi wanted to kill myself. I woke up with a huge, super-giant, horrendous headache. All I could think about was drinking my scrumptious coffee and eating some yogurt with jam. Instead, I tried (for the first time in my life) coffee with JUST cream - total puke-fest - my usual egg whites with cheese and bacon, and plain oatmeal with raisins and walnuts (not as bad as I thought it would be, honestly). Lunch will be split pea soup with an apple and some cheese. Dinner is still up in the air. Snacks will be air-popped popcorn, cottage cheese, grapes, and Pixie Sticks (just kidding).
I will keep you posted.
Your humble servant,
Sara

Yesterday was the first day of no sugar. I sadly drove by Dunkin Donuts on my way to work and really missed drinking my large french vanilla (light and sweet, of course). The plain hot tea from home just wasn't cutting it. I had no brown sugar in my oatmeal, I avoided eating the tasty Milky Way bars that are in my desk drawer, and I even turned down a gluten free cookie at my friend's house (I know...big deal).
So, what is my point? Well, I'm starting these 40 dark days at 161 pounds and in decent health, but with terrible eating habits. I'm hoping that, by eliminating "the white stuff" from my diet, I will lose some weight, kill some of my addictive, sugar-monster behavior, and realize that I don't need to consume 4-5 CUPS of sugar every day (seriously, this is according to my doctor...how the hell am I not diabetic yet????). I'm still allowing myself fruit because I'll need something sweet to go in my belly. And because the sugar in fruit is natural. And because I would most likely strangle someone if I went 100% sugar free. I plan to weigh myself once a week on Wednesdays so I can document my progress.
How am I feeling? Great question. This morning, I semi wanted to kill myself. I woke up with a huge, super-giant, horrendous headache. All I could think about was drinking my scrumptious coffee and eating some yogurt with jam. Instead, I tried (for the first time in my life) coffee with JUST cream - total puke-fest - my usual egg whites with cheese and bacon, and plain oatmeal with raisins and walnuts (not as bad as I thought it would be, honestly). Lunch will be split pea soup with an apple and some cheese. Dinner is still up in the air. Snacks will be air-popped popcorn, cottage cheese, grapes, and Pixie Sticks (just kidding).
I will keep you posted.
Your humble servant,
Sara
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